


And Isn't That The Cruelest Thing You Ever Heard?

by wheredoyougowhenyougoquiet



Series: Trauma [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, Female Pronouns for Grell Sutcliff, I hate when people misgender grell like what ya doing buddy, Past Abuse, Trans Character, Unrequited, aromantic Grell, because I say she might have loved but that doesn't mean she does love them you feel me?, there's one sketchy sentence about Gore and eye trauma, wanting to repeat trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8643319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheredoyougowhenyougoquiet/pseuds/wheredoyougowhenyougoquiet
Summary: "She comes to him in seriousness one night..."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my gross series wherein characters deal with their trauma in unhealthy ways. Grell has been abused in the past and craves to recreate it. There's only one sketchy sentence where she explicitly craves physical violence from Sebastian in the second sentence of the second part. 
> 
> As always I love run on sentences and too many commas.

I. 

Grell knows Sebastian doesn't like her, which is okay because she doesn't much like herself either, but she likes him and that's just going to have to be enough. 

II. 

Grell claims to love Sebastian, and when they have their picnic and he serves her that horrid tea with eight times as much required salt she thinks she may actually be grasping at it. The salt burns in her wounds and she thinks about how good it would feel if he reached out and dug his perfectly long fingers into her eyeballs and pulled. Grell has a yearning, a deep seated ache in her very core: one borne out of fear and expectation. Who is she if she is not being hurt by a man she thinks she could love if she didn't so selfishly love herself more? 

III. 

She comes to him in seriousness one night, lures him out by lurking just on the edges of the estate belonging to the brat who has taken every person Grell thinks she might have loved. Sebastian keeps his face neutral despite it just being the two of them; but he raises his brows when there is no outlandish declaration of love and devotion, or comment on how scandalous this impromptu meeting is in the cover of dark night. 

Grell doesn't want to pretend tonight. She just needs him to know that she doesn't mean to make him dislike her and that she can change if he wishes it. So she tells him as much.

"I do not wish to play that game with you." 

\- And she can feel her heart breaking. Grell can hear the shattering of whatever was left of her in the answering loneliness of the moonlight, she wonders if Sebastian can feel what he's done to the ache inside of her.

**Author's Note:**

> I had some hesitation in posting this one here because Grell wants to recreate her abuse with Sebastian and I know why that's awful and gross; but it's something I deal with in real life as an abuse survivor, so I thought why not.


End file.
